The Brooklyn Herald
INDEPENDENT REPORTS FROM NEW YORK'S OUTER BOROUGHS
Loading weather… · --:--

A Warning to Fellow Travelers — There Is No Train to Staten Island!

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing on behalf of myself and my fellow Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Root, NY, regarding directions we followed from a website called "Outer Boroughs Travel Guide" to reach Staten Island.

The website instructed us to take the ferry to Governor's Island and connect to the Staten Island train. There is no train on Governor's Island! There has never been a train on Governor's Island!! It was all a cruel joke by someone named Grizzle on the internet!

Seven nuns. Three hours. Sister Margaret has a bad hip. We walked past the same hammock grove four times. A park ranger looked at us like we had lost our minds. A young man on a bicycle finally told us that someone was playing a cruel joke on us.

When we returned to our hotel and attempted to find the website again to verify what we had read, it was gone. The website no longer exists. As if it had never been there at all. Someone created a fake website, waited for trusting travelers to follow them, and then deleted the evidence.

I do not know who would do such a thing but I want whoever is responsible to know that Sister Dorothy cried on the ferry back and Sister Margaret could barely walk the next morning. We all almost got frostbite too!

We will pray for you. But we will not forgive you.

Burn in Hell Grizzle!

Sister Catherine Anne Moody
Sisters of the Sacred Heart
Root, NY

The Herald reports information as received. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.
Parodied in Brooklyn Established 1836 by Jeremiah Wickford